Tuesday, November 10, 2009

the light bulb came on

I had an epiphany today while driving. It really was an ah-ha kind of moment. I was driving back from Sacramento, after an annoying chat with a nursing school person, and it hit me. The reason I want to move. I actually side tracked a little through Davis and got on the 113 there to head back home, and the sheer beauty of their own little highway just really overtook me. There was this huge green grass area between northbound and south bound lanes. Then on the sides there were trees, with leaves changing colors. The freeway wasn't 8 lanes wide, with industrial buildings and billboards along the side. It was beautiful. Then I got to 80, and on the sides of the freeway there, was farmland. Green unadulterated land. It just kind of caught me off guard for how much I missed seeing areas without buildings. Then I thought about growing up in Santa Maria. If you traveled south from where we lived, it was hills, cows, shrubbery. And I mean, like one mile south. I thought about it and realized I don't want to live on a farm. That's not why I want to move. It was the simplicity of everything when I lived in these places. Growing up seemed rough at the time, but it was simple. Homework was short, and then it was over. School was what you did to be social and see your friends that you didn't see on the weekends. The weekends were for part time work to earn some money to go see a few movies after work. No health insurance woes. No "can't lose my job or else how will we eat" struggles. No "where should we raise the kids" discussions because we were the kids and our parents picked a great place. Then there was Davis and Sacramento. Even then, I worked mon-friday and my money was my money. Sure there was rent, but I never worried about it. I guess if I had lost my job, I would have asked the parents for help until I found another job. Still pretty care free. Then I moved to Oakland and everything changed. It's hard to grow up, with the glory days of my youth behind me. I just can't help but believe that it we get back to a town where I have heart, things will be simpler and easier and more carefree for my kids and their parents.

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